Christmas Our Way

Disclaimer: Please understand that this post is not a way to downplay what others do to celebrate the holidays, but it is instead a way to help others understand that celebrating can be done in numerous ways. People who truly know me, know that I am a very unconventional and nontraditional person.

So very often I get the question, "What are you getting your daughter for Christmas?" People look at me like I am crazy when I tell them she is going out to give back to the community or she is giving others a gift rather than receiving a lot of presents. They try to make me take that guilt trip, but I do not allow other people's opinions to dictate how my household is run. Christmas is a very commercialized day in the year that I see families spending a ton of money just to see their children smile. Well, I'm glad to say that I do not have to go to that length to see my daughter smile. She enjoys the simple things and for that I appreciate the time we are able to spend unconventionally during the holidays. My husband does not celebrate any holidays or events that are not explicitly mentioned in the bible or have a history of misfortune in the bible as directed by his religion. I have no ties to a religion that explicitly state that I cannot celebrate holidays. In fact, I grew up going through the motions and celebrating by tradition but I have never been one to take much excitement out of celebrating much of anything so it works for me and my family. My daughter just follows suit rather than wanting to do things like her friends and cousins. Yes, I get asked why I don't shower my daughter with gifts and that she will be upset with me when she grows up. I am told that I am ruining her fun as a child and taking her innocence away because I don't follow all the Santa superstitions. I just don't think it's fair for my child to believe a jolly fat stranger brought gifts into our house in the middle of the night while I go to work each day just to provide for her. Why should Santa get all the credit? Either way, I refuse to blatantly lie to my child about it. She knows the deal about strangers and that I wouldn't allow a stranger in our home anyway. Besides, I am not spending hundreds of dollars for one morning on things that I think she would want for my own personal thrill and risk her not even wanting the toys. She hardly plays with toys so it just doesn't make sense for our family. She is very blessed and does not want for much of anything, which is all I want for her to understand.

Visiting the nursing home

Look at that smile :-)

Family time at the movies!

Now, on to what we did do for the holidays. For starters, we sat up all night for a couple of nights watching family movies (she has watched Annie like 3 times now and I never realized it was so long before). She gets soooo excited being able to play games with us and she starts talking trash about how she's going to win (respectful trash talk of course). This morning, we went to see Big Hero 6 since she has been talking about it for a while now. All in all, we are spending FAMILY TIME together. Oh, and let me not forget that I took her to the nursing home to give gifts, sing, and pass out cards to the old folks. She absolutely loved spending time with the older generation talking and acted as though she wanted to stay longer when I told her it was time to go. I could ask for nothing better but to see a genuine smile form across my daughter's face for invaluable moments versus gifts of toys and nonsense that will leave a mess throughout the house. My only hope is that she learns the true meaning of happiness and not the happiness gained through monetary gain or material things. 

  

5 Cardinal Rules for Life

"Vote or Shut Up" as they say

So annoyed (can you tell) but I voted. I am usually not one to get heavily involved in politics but after tonight I see why it was such a big deal to leaders who fought for this right. Crooked leaders are still trying to discourage us from letting our voices be heard. My first issue was that I just didn't have the energy to go back out to vote, but that was a personal problem that I had to suck up and it was simply an excuse. Then, I went to the precinct that I last voted which is only a minute away from my house. When I got there they told me I needed to go to the fire station. I didn't understand why I could not just use one of the 10 unoccupied machines to cast my ballot. Any who, I went to the fire station that is only two minutes away and that was the wrong place! The correct fire station was a 7 minute drive...WHY? Ok, so I sucked it up and drove over. Besides it is my fault I failed to read my mail relevant to voting. I got there and saw the longest line I have ever had to deal with when voting. I got out and stood in the line when some old guy decided he wanted to light up a cigarette. This just wasn't going to work for me seeing as I already had a headache and the smoke made my head bang even more. I wandered away from the smoke and finally found my way inside where there were only two ladies checking voters in. Lo and behold, there was only 1 machine!!!! You've got to be kidding me! This whole evening was just unreal to me because I have never had this many issues when voting. But now I see why getting involved is so important. Otherwise, I will be easy to take advantage of. Tired, annoyed, headache, and 2 hours later I have cast my ballot. 

When It Raynes...Introducing J.Asmara

I have had the desire to write a book for as long as I can remember. I have not gotten myself to the point of where I am disciplined enough to sit and write for an extended period of time until I can accomplish that task. However, the thought still remains fresh in my mind and I constantly think of new topics and story lines very often. I actually have an idea running through my mind now. But, we all know that an idea has no value if it is never acted upon.  That is why I am very proud of knowing someone who had the same trouble as I did with all the thoughts and being able to witness the entire process of becoming a published author.  I would like to introduce her to you all so that maybe her work can inspire you all to do the same and follow any unfinished dreams that you may have.

What does your writing process look like? 

"I like to write in a relaxed environment. I usually burn an incense or candle to set the mood in my space which is usually in my comfy over-sized chair with my feet up on the matching ottoman. I write with music; I live by Pandora. Once I have the mood set I make a cup (or two or three) of tea and begin writing."

Do you have any strange writing habits? 

"I am old school. Unlike so many other writers I’ve met, I like to write on a note pad versus typing on the computer. I know I could probably cut a lot of time by using the computer, but it’s something about having my pages with lined out sentences on lines, arrows all over the paper and words going along the side of the page by the time I’m done. As chaotic as the pages look by the end, it helps me organize my thoughts better."

What/Who has inspired you to write? 

"Overall my children are my inspiration. I have a strong desire to do better for them. Though being a single mother is hard, I never want to be a statistic. I want to show my children that they too can step out of the box society sometimes places us in. As far as writing itself, my best friend Angie inspired me. I’d been writing pretty much my whole life but never really gave it a second thought. Seven years again she told me that I should write a book. I laughed at her and slid it out of my mind. It wasn’t until I wrote a short story in February of this year that I realized that maybe she was onto something. Needless to say she was ecstatic when I told her my decision. People see things in us way before we do sometimes."

How did you come up with the story line for your book? 

"I know it may sound very simple, but in my mind I’ve been blessed to have a very vivid imagination and am also a great problem solver. When I watch movies or television shows, I always try to figure out the twist and I’m usually right about 90% of the time. So I pulled out my notebook and started jotting down twists, turns, and events that I thought would be attention grabbers."

If you could cast your characters in the Hollywood adaptation of your book, who would play your characters? 

"My Hollywood cast would include Keisha Knight Pulliam as Rayne; David would be played by Laz Alonso; James would be Robbie Jones Randy;  Michael Ealy Sky would best be played by Sanaa Lathan."

What do you consider to be your best accomplishment? 

"My greatest accomplishment is that I finished! I’m a master procrastinator. I’ve started so many projects that still remain incomplete. When It Raynes is a tangible item that I can be proud of. It’s still unreal to me sometimes that I wrote it!"

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? 

"Within ten years I see myself having at least one best-selling novel. That is the goal I’ve set for myself and I strive for it daily. I set out to be better than I was the day before. I want every book to be better than the one before. I also see myself being part of a great publishing company."

What is the hardest part about writing a book? 

"I believe the hardest thing is getting out of your own way. You have to get past the obstacles that you place in front of yourself, because most of them are in our head. It’s so easy to make excuses. Mine were: I don’t have enough time in the day, I have a full time job and I’m enlisted in the Army as a reservist, I have three children, I’m tired, I can’t do this, and who’s going to buy my book. It took a lot of discipline but once I started, the words just flowed and my dream was a reality in a four-month period."

What writing advice do you have for other aspiring authors? 

"My advice for aspiring authors is just do it and enjoy the process. It’s not always going to be a walk in the park but stay consistent. Also, always keep a positive prospective. Even if you do not sell one book, know that you have accomplished something that not everyone has the drive, talent, or dedication to do."

What is your least favorite part of the publishing / writing process? 

"My least favorite part of the process is the marketing. It is difficult being an Indie (independent) Writer. Without a publishing company backing me, I’ve had to do all of my marketing. It’s going well, but it has been hard, but I always say “Hard doesn’t equal impossible”."

Is there a certain type of scene that's harder for you to write than others? Love? Action? Racy? Why is it harder? 

"I don’t think I’ve encountered a “hard” scene to write. I’m all for love, action, and racy; all three are in my book actually. What I do find difficult at times is portraying the emotion into the scenes. I want my writing to feel like they are the character.  I want my book to seduce their senses; to see what the character(s) see, feel what the character(s) feel, and so on. Nothing does my heart better than my readers telling me they felt like Rayne and expressing the emotion that scenes evoked in them."

Do you have a team of supporters? What advice would you give an aspiring author without a support system? 

"A support team is very important, not only in marketing but also for your mental well being. I’ve had several moments when I doubted my abilities and my decision to write. I was blessed to have a few faithful supporters along the way to give me that pick me up. Once you publish, it’s important to have a support team to help you with circulation. You have to reach out of your comfort zone to be successful at selling books. Unfortunately, family and friends will let you down. Don’t get me wrong though; they are happy for you, your priority is your priority and your priority may not always be their priority. The reality is that other people’s lives are going on around your book."

Be on the lookout for the sequel! In the meantime, visit https://squareup.com/market/the-asmara/when-it-raynes to order your copy today! Oh yeah, it comes autographed which is always a plus ;-)

Sickle Cell Awareness

I have had the pleasure of meeting one of the most positive people that I can imagine. Mr. Jerrie'me Wright has been nothing short of motivational and supportive of the many ideas I have shared with him. To let him know just how valuable and influential to others, I am dedicating this month's post to him in honor of Sickle Cell Awareness month. In the midst of having Sickle Cell, Jerrie'me continues to show his strength and does not waver from his mission one bit. So before the month ends, I just had to share with you his responses to the questions I asked to become more aware of Sickle Cell.

How long have you been aware of your Sickle Cell Anemia disease?
"Sickle cell is an inherited blood disorder; therefore, individuals who carry the SS gene are born with it.  However, I have been aware of this disease as far back as the early 90's.  So, I would say about 4 or 5 years of age, when I could actually recall having sickle cell crises."

How did you come to understand it?
"I came to understand this disease while coming to age.  My older sister, Monica, lived with sickle cell disease.  So, I came to understand it not only from my point of view, but Monica's point of view as well. To come to understand sickle cell from her point of view, as well as my point of view, was a humbling experience. Nonetheless, today, I am still coming to understand sickle cell disease."

What is the difference between sickle cell trait and the sickle cell disease?
"Great question. Someone without sickle cell disease have normal hemoglobin (AA).  That is to say their red blood cells are normal in shape and function.  On the contrary, someone who has sickle cell trait (like my parents) are carriers of a single sickle cell gene (AS).  Therefore, they were able to pass it on, but were not affected as far as acute pain or complications. It is important for me to say, “Not every individual with sickle cell trait are exempt from the complications of the disease, however, the majority are.”  Most people who live with sickle cell trait feel well and usually live an active and healthy life.  Now, as it relates to those with sickle cell disease (like Monica and I), at birth two sickle cell genes (SS) are inherited, one from each parent.  Like our parents, we too are carriers, but we are also affected by every complication of the disease."

If you can compare sickle cell to anything, how would you describe what it's like to have the sickle cell disease?
"Hmm.  I'm not sure if I can compare sickle cell disease to anything, at least not right now.  However, I would describe having this disease to be very challenging in a number of ways.  Growing up as a kid, there were many things I could not do, because the chance of me having a sickle cell crisis.  While my brother went outside to play, I stayed behind looking out the window because of the possibility of overexerting myself and getting sick.  Although I came to terms with being limited in what I did, and now do, the challenge of this disease has not prevented me from achieving my goals."

Is there a support group for individuals with sickle cell? How do you gain the support you need?
"Yes there are support groups and foundations for individuals with sickle cell.  In fact, the James R. Clark Sickle Cell Foundation in Columbia, South Carolina support those living with sickle cell.  As for me, I gain the support I need from my family, loved ones, and friends.  My number one support group/system is my mother.  She has been all the support I have needed throughout my life. "

How can people help spread awareness?
"In order to spread awareness, individuals need to first learn about the disease.  People can help spread awareness by being proactive.  Today we are living in a social media society, so we can be proactive through the world of social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.).  In addition, people can spread awareness by word of mouth.  I like the slogan, "Each one, teach one." Many people know of someone who has been affected or knows someone who is affected by sickle cell.  If we take that individual into consideration in bringing awareness, more individuals will be aware of sickle cell disease. This blog/article is also another tool in bringing awareness to others of sickle cell disease. So, thank you for your willingness to bring awareness of this disease to others!"

To learn more about Sickle Cell, visit the Sickle Cell Disease Association of America website: http://www.sicklecelldisease.org/

Dream(Her)

Every girl is a dreamer at some point in her life. From the time a girl can begin to imagine a life she can call her own, she is able to understand that her thoughts are merely her dreams until she gets old enough to live them out. On the sad side, many girls are told that dreaming is crazy because life will never be the way they have dreamed it to be and it is unrealistic to even think of the possibilities. That leaves many girls fighting for the rest of their lives trying to prove those naysayers wrong or fighting to live their life by someone else's expectations. I am one of those girls. I am told that I am a dreamer all the time and that I live in my own fantasy world. But it is okay that I am an all-time dreamer and I will not stop reaching for my dreams until I have reached them, because I am happy doing just that. That's why I have come up with the idea of Dream(Her) to represent the girl who dreams. It is a reminder that it is okay to step out of the norm and do something that makes her happy. It is time for girls to live out their dreams and quit doing what society expects of the average female. I present to you Dream(Her)!!! This shirt should serve as a reminder to live the life you have always dreamed of living.  Order your shirt today by visiting www.mkt.com/inspireabc.

Note: Dream(Her) is pronounced Dreamer. 

While you are here, go ahead and comment with your dream!

Designing credits go to 15-year old Tajana Howard in Massachusetts! We have to raise the younger generation up and encourage them to go in a worthwhile direction.

Minimum Wage Challenge

I think more people in charge of making these laws should have to bear the responsibility of understanding what we go through from day to day not being afforded luxuries that they have. They have stresses also, but is incomparable to the stresses of wondering where your next meal will come from or if you will have a place to stay the next day. Something needs to be done in America. It's supposed to be the land of opportunity but so many people are dying from no opportunity. That's backwards. Read the article.

This Congressman lived on the minimum wage:

http://www.cnn.com//2014/07/31/politics/minimum-wage-challenge/index.html

Canvas Art SALE!!!

Hey! Did I forget to mention that I am putting all of my canvas art on sale?! Yes!

Canvases are originally $25 including shipping but are now on sale for $18. 

The sale prices are good until the end of next week - July 31.  Visit the InspireABC Store at www.mkt.com/inspireabc and customize your canvas today! Check out some of the canvases below. Just let me know what you want done and I will let you know if I am able to get it done for you! Thanks!

Just e-mail inspireabetterconnection@gmail.com the photo or a description of what you want to be included on your canvas.

Below are pictures of some samples of the work that I have done.



Hanging Name Plate Canvas

Couple Canvas


 

Quote Canvas




Business Card Canvas
 

 



Photography Canvases (Color/Black&White)_

Bulldog

"The nose of the bulldog is slanted backwards so he can breathe without letting go." -Winston Churchill

You're probably reading this quote and wondering what it has to do with you...Simple answer! When we think about a bulldog, we think of a mean, ferocious, aggressive animal that will chase you down, bite you and won't let go until his master says so or until it has reached the intended goal. Let's face it, bulldogs have a bad reputation. We, as human beings can be like this sometimes. We terrorize others without even knowing people are running in the opposite direction because of our reputation.  However, some of the human beings who act like the bulldog turn out to be the successful, on top entrepreneurs, executives, and leaders the rest of us could only dream of being.  The successful people who stay on top, however, are the ones who respect others, are approachable, and respectable.  They set their eyes on a reasonable target, work hard, don't give up, and fight until the end all while knowing how to breathe through it all so that the task does not become suffocating.  Set healthy goals and work towards them.  Be gentle with people while remaining ferocious with your goal.  So, breathe deeply and employ the help, criticism, and direction of others while holding on to the task at hand...besides the bulldog had to learn from his owner also. Take constructive criticism and help along your journey. With good leadership, we can all achieve great things. Remaining focused helps us to maintain.

Image taken from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/bulldog.

Black History is everyday...

I apologize for not keeping up with my blog in the past few months as I should. I have had many moments of reflection, change, and insight which have kept me quite busy. I know there are many people who thought I should have at least posted thoughts in honor of black history month. Instead I chose to get up and get out in an effort to support black businesses and matters relevant to the community. I couldn't make it to everything but I will definitely make a conscious effort to get out and about much more. Besides, we should celebrate the contributions of our Black people more than in the month of February and that is what I intend to do.

Just to highlight a few activities, I attended a book signing in support of a local author by the name of Kianna Alexander. I learned a lot just by listening to her process and journey! It was much more powerful than I imagined. I escorted a few mentees to a black-owned dentist office where they learned about not only oral hygienic care but about life choices and the power in respect! I viewed The Butler with a room full of mentees and had a deep conversation about the content.

Most importantly, I gave back to me! I have been working very diligently on my own business! My website has a new look and I hope that you enjoy all that you see. I even joined in on a company selling candles that I just adore. The scents are so satisfying in my home. Visit my site http://mysoylscents.com/ID/inspireabc or click on the tab Candle Therapy above. There will definitely be a candle post coming soon!

Please sign up to begin receiving updates about my blog. When I redesigned the site, I lost all subscribers. So please support me and continue to inspire me by giving me valuable feedback.

Subscribe! Subscribe! Subscribe! 

Have you supported a small business lately?

Sometimes fixing the problem can be as simple as listening...

After looking at a YouTube video, I laughed...not because it was funny, but because I could totally relate. My husband and I have had numerous discussions about him just listening. There are times when I have to vent about a situation to help release tension and pressure to refrain from getting to the point of being annoyed.  He always tries to fix the problem and provides suggestions for things that I should do to feel better about the situation. However, his speaking only makes the issue worse! LOL Because all I need is an ear to listen to my situation and try to understand what I am feeling for adequate support at the time. Now, I have learned to just tell him that I just need him to listen before he gets too deep in providing solutions. Thankfully, he has definitely been working on it now :-). What we don't understand is that sometimes the problem is already fixed. Many times we already know what we need to do next to make the situation better or fix the problem on our own. Often the problem fixes itself. It is okay to not always fix the problem. Just listen! Copy and paste the link to watch the video.

Click here to watch the video.






 

Love Your Body Type

After catching a clip of Queen Latifah's show today at the gym, I heard some amazing inspiration about body image.  Although the show was about getting healthy and incorporating ways to stick to the usual "I want to lose weight" new year resolution, I got something much deeper out of what I saw.  The Hollywood Trainer, Jeanette Jenkins was featured on the Living segment of the show. She looks great! She seems to have so much energy! It just does not seem to all come from simply working out.  Jeanette Jenkins made a comment about learning to love yourself.  Even though we all head to the gym to work out for a "better" body, we need to learn to take a moment to appreciate the body we already have.  So many times, we get to the point of giving up because it seems as though no matter how hard we try to get that perfect figure we never get it.  The problem comes from the different body types that I learned about as Jeanette Jenkins was talking. The three body types that she spoke of were the ectomorph, endomorph, and mesomorph body types that determined body shape. 
Ectomorph - lean/thin
Mesomorph - Athletic/Muscular Build
Endomorph - Soft/Curvy (tends to be a bit more flabby)
Therefore, if you have an endomorph body build, you can't expect to go to the gym and come out with the ectomorph build. You have to be realistic if you are exercising and losing weight naturally.

The following site http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/becker3.htm has a quiz that you can take to determine the body type you are and also offers suggestions for your particular build. Isn't that great!? Now, you can customize your workouts to your body rather than doing the basic exercises you've been told to do all your life.

The moral of this post is that before you can venture out to improve your image, you must first love who you are.  That means you need to remind yourself daily when you look in the mirror that you look good. Despite what we have been told looks good by society, we have to still love who we are because no matter how much work and time we put in, we will never have another body. All we have is ours. So, love yourself for what you've been given.

Respect

"You don't have to like me, but you will respect me!" We've all heard someone say this before at some point.  You may have even said it yourself. Respect is more than just biting our tongue so we don't say the wrong thing to an elder or being so afraid of someone's reaction that we can barely even express ourself. Respect is evident when we show regard for other's feelings and are considerate to others despite past circumstances.  Before we can ask someone to respect us, we must know what respect is.  There are times when I see young ladies yelling out that someone needs to respect them, yet they go out and do things that are disrespectful to their selves by acting out in foolish ways in public because someone said something slick. There are males who would rather fight as a way of gaining respect because they feel as though someone looked at them the wrong way. To be respected, you must be someone worthy of being respected. Respecting others is the first step, because how you respect others determines how respectful you are deeming you worthy of respect. What we must do before we can ask for someone to respect us is to analyze our own behaviors that are worthy of being respected and evaluate the characteristics we possess that are likely to be disrespected. If we find ourselves being disrespected for the same things, maybe it is time to think of ways to change those behaviors. I know when some people hear that they need to change something about their self, they begin the argument that people need to like them for who they are. However, we need to understand that there are behaviors that we inherit and learn from our environment that are unacceptable and unworthy of being respected. It is nearly impossible to grow and mature by doing the same things from childhood. At some point, we have to learn and change to mature into a person worthy of being respected. Changing learned behaviors is something that is easier said than done, but with persistence it can be done.

You Are Your Habit

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit." -Aristotle

Who doesn't want to be remembered for all of the good??? Who doesn't want to be known as excellent??? I'm quite sure we all want to be known as a good contributor to some excellent cause or change of some sort no matter how big or small.  However, before we can put excellence into existence, we must first examine ourselves and our habits.  Ask yourself the following questions as a starting point of examination (and be honest with yourself):

Am I a good listener or would I rather command?
Do I share or hoard for myself to reap the benefits later by myself?
Do I plan and follow through or do I quit once I come to a stumbling block?
Are people attracted to me or repelled to be with me?
Do I uplift others or discourage?
Am I approachable?
Are people likely to approach me with problems or figure them out on their own with hesistance of how I may react?
What significant habits do I have?
Am I the person I want to be?

If you are not pleased with your responses, then it is time to start making some changes in your behavior in order to obtain better habits.

Take Time To Appreciate Your Child

After getting an upsetting message that my daughter misbehaved in school for the past two days, I became discouraged as an educator.  I gave her a scolding and let her know repeatedly how acting up in school is unacceptable.  After sitting back and reflecting on the second day, I came to the decision that maybe it was me who had to do something a bit different.  I began an initiative a couple of years ago that I would highlight my daughter's achievements and give her rewards for behaving the whole week of school.  Each weekend, we would do something special for her if she brought home an excellent report.  This method worked for quite some time.  However, the extrinsic awards may be running out for the same weekly task.  Maybe she needed something different.  Maybe I need to do something different. It is obvious that I wasn't highlighting her behaviors at home the same as I highlighted her school behavior.  So, she became the perfect child at home while misbehaving at school.  However, I still did not acknowledge the perfect home behavior. At the end of the day, I am responsible for my daughter's behavior as a minor.  I had to come to some realization about this.  And no, I am not making a big deal of a couple of days.  I just don't want to ignore an issue that could become worse.  I definitely don't want it to become habit.  Besides, when behaviors suddenly change, a red flag should go up...In this case it did.  Here is a bit of my reflection: 

 

Children have so many expectations to meet.  They have to worry about how they are perceived by their peers, they must make sure their parents approve of the decisions they make, and they even have to worry about how their teacher views their work ethic or character.  Sometimes we notice that our children are becoming a little lazy and not trying as hard as they once did.  The issue may not be that the child is lazy...The issue might stem from us, the adults.  Children can begin to feel overworked and misunderstood if their efforts are not seen after trying their hardest and doing their best.  Many times they feel like giving up.  At the end of the day, we have to understand that our child will still be our child.  We must remind ourselves that our children are the best and admire them for being unique rather than criticizing them for being different. Therefore, we must remind our children to be the best that they can be at all times.  Let them know that the people who care will stick around and will still love them for the person they are, because no matter what accomplishments they make or don't make they will still be the same person.  Children need to know that it is okay to make mistakes, but just do not become so discouraged that they give up on the person they were trying to become or the goals they were trying to reach.  Parents, let's take it a bit easier on our children and appreciate the good that they bring to our lives.  Let's set them up for success without tearing them down to the ground.  It is okay if they don't achieve what we want them to achieve as long as they are accomplishing goals that are meaningful to them in their journey of life. Don't become so busy trying to create a good child when you already have one. 

 

The one goal and message that we should send our children is:

Make sure you are being the best that you can possibly be.  The best you is all you can offer.  Therefore, the people around you must accept you for who you are.  Do not get confused and try to be like someone else, because that is when you lose the respect that others so dearly have for you.  Just remember to BE THE BEST YOU! Guess what...no one else can beat you at your own goal...

 



 

Who I Am Makes A Difference

I am afraid to show you who I really am, because if I show you who I really am, you might not like it--and that's all I got.
Sabrina Ward Harrison

Isn't it scary how we feel a certain way about certain things and we can't even expose our true feelings for fear of how others might view us from that moment on? After talking with a friend about past experiences that have shaped me into the person I am today, I reflected long and hard on my life and what I have to offer.  There were many times that I did not appreciate at the moment of adversity, but I have learned to appreciate in the present.  There were many battles in my life where I have had to lose friends, associates, or opportunities because I stood my ground on particular matters and did not want to contradict my morals, values, or beliefs for others.  I look back on those times and ask myself whether or not I regret those times...To this day, I can honestly say, "NO" loud and clear.  I am at a certain place in my life where the opportunities that I would have gotten five, six, even ten years ago may not even matter today.  Sure, those opportunities could have landed me in other areas but I will not live off of the could've, would've, should've moments.  I am only going to live in the now and prepare for the future.  I am proud of the person I have become and realize that if I did not have those moments of staying true to myself years ago, I would not be the person I am today. Besides, if I would have shifted my stance for others, I probably wouldn't even know who I am today. I would still be searching for the true me.  There are a lot of people struggling with finding their true self and figuring out their purpose in life at an adult age.  I am just glad that I don't have that problem and it is all because I was always me during times of popularity, injustice, unfairness, and spite.  It is always easier to get what you want by being who others think you should be, but I made the choice to do all the things that I wanted to do on my own time in my own way.  I will never apologize for who I am and I advise you to never apologize for the true you. Just remember: "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
 

Change You to Change Your Life

"Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change." -Jim Rohn

 

Change your mind; change your future.
Change your mind; work through fear.
Change your mind; change your path.
Change your mind; determine the outcome.
Change your actions; meet your goal.
Change your actions; change your health.
Change your heart; welcome your life.
Change your heart; accept your past.
Change your heart; live in happiness.
Change your heart; live in peace.

 

Make the changes that matter. Change things that hinder you in order to grow. If you have become stagnant in the way you live and move from day to day with mere routines, it may be time for some excitement and change in your life! Remember changing you begins with a change WITHIN you.

All Alone

I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone. -Robin Williams
 

This quote was speaking to me no more than 5 years ago.  I remember wanting to feel as though I had people in my corner ready and willing to support each of my heartfelt endeavors.  After broken promises, neglectful attitudes, missed appointments, and confusion, I reflected on what it really meant to be ALONE.  Being alone is more than just being by yourself.  It is about not feeling up to the job of entertaining and supporting yourself.  I had to realize that just because I had a dream, did not mean everyone else I simply spoke to on a daily basis would feel the desire in my dreams.  I have dealt with opinions, negative comments, and people who tried to change my dreams to match their interpretation of what my dreams and desires should be.  After ending up alone once the opinions were finished being stated, I had the job of reflecting on myself.  It is a realization that I do not need a million supporters to feel like a million bucks :-)  I had to find that happy spot in myself where I could be all by myself and still feel as though I had an entourage.  I now have that and it is important for everyone to have that feeling.  That lonely feeling is the reason why people end up being depressed, sick, and feel as though they need someone in order to feel loved, happy, and just to live.  That is not a good feeling! But, it can absolutely be changed with a change of your mind, thoughts, feelings, and heart.  Besides, you will always feel alone whether or not you have people with you if you never get to the point of fully accepting yourself and your own presence while alone. 

Pick up your phone and scroll through your contact list.  Now, look through your call log.  Are they consistent with one another? Do these contacts call only when they are ready to hang out or need something or someone? Do you have as many people who care about you, who will call you just to check up on you, call just to talk, or even just to say "Hi"? We tend to think that if we have a lot of people in our contact list, that we have "someone we can call on".  That may not be the case.  We unknowingly surround ourselves with many people to fill that empty hole we have.  But, with all the filling, the empty feeling never seems to fully go away.  It is time to work towards building relationships that go beyond the norm.  Grow more meaningful and deep relationships.  We sometimes sell ourselves short because we have spent so much time with a person, but is that enough to make us want to stick around to be taken advantage of? Know that you and your feelings matter as well. You may be so careful to not step on someone else's toes, but they step on yours all the time and show no regard or remorse for your feelings.  Well that is not fair to you. It is time to invest in your emotions and notice your worth. 

Teach Me To Think

What does it really mean to teach a child??? Does it mean to simply give a child a set of facts and quiz him on whether or not he remembers each fact? Does it mean to expect that child to make a 100% on every test, because you have taught him the skills necessary to pass a certain test? Does it even mean to help that child make it to graduation? What does it really mean to TEACH? The answer is very simple, yet the task is so complex. 

My philosophy is that every child should be taught how to think.  School is about more than just coming to get a 100 on the next test.  It is about overcoming obstacles, connecting concepts, using strategies, and learning to think through situations without being given a study guide.  Every child deserves the type of lessons that will go with them throughout life.  Is it enough to send a child into the real world without survival techniques, an understanding of economics, a lack of social skills, and no real mastery of mathematical or basic reading concepts??? Absolutely NOT!  It is unfair to the child who did not have a teacher or parents who would push him to the next point of understanding what life is all about.  Sometimes we get so hung up on what we are expected to teach our children that we forget about the real tools we need to teach our children.  The number one tool that we can give our children to help them survive is a sense of learning how to think on their own.  If we continue to give them all the answers and not require anything more than an answer to a test, then we have essentially failed our children.  We need to understand the importance of teaching our children to THINK.  It is only then that they can fully understand the importance of learning.

 

"As a teacher I feel I have a moral obligation to help the children in my classroom grow toward becoming full human beings and to feel successful.  Teaching cognitive skills is not enough..."  - Jean Medick

 

We must teach our kids to learn how to learn...Most importantly, we must teach them how to think.  

 

Tips To A Great School Year

Here are my tips for not only starting the school year off right, but also getting through the school year well! Know that you are at your best when you are less stressed. Don't worry, I will be reminding you of this very often.

1.       Go in with a positive, open mind.  Sure, you know a lot. You may even be a veteran.  But, it is always good to be able to sit back and listen to other people’s ideas. First year teachers tend to always have some really creative ideas.  Rather than doing all the talking, open your mind and listen to someone else’s ideas every once in a while regardless of how long you have been teaching.

2.       Set a schedule.  The inevitable is sure to occur.  Just don’t let it get you in a tizzy. Face it, things happen.  I have noticed that children behave so much better if they know what should happen in a normal day of work. Just beware; they will try to correct you if you veer away from the normal happenings.  Reassure them that things change and they are still expected to complete all activities regardless of the schedule shift.

3.       Set clear expectations…not just for students, but for everyone around you.  If you allow craziness, craziness will surely find you.  Let it be known in your expression, your appearance, choice of words, and actions that you are not going to put up with the foolishness.  Drama will try to come your way every once in a while to test your tolerance level, but keep a level head and remain positive throughout any situations that arise with colleagues, students, parents, guests, and even your boss.   You don’t have to be mean to keep the drama away.  Just don’t join it. Trust me, it is sure to come.

4.       Remain positive. No matter how hectic things may get and how unsure you might become about your job because something outrageous occurred on your watch, always keep a positive outlook.  Complaining and negativity will only make you feel worse about the situation and about yourself.  Don’t bring negativity into your space unless your goal is to feel bad. I doubt that any of us strive to feel bad…right? o_O

5.       Maximize your time.  My number one plea for teachers is to never make a habit of taking your work home.  If you do, your home life becomes your work life and you will lose a personal life.  Even if you do not have a family to take care of when you get home, you still have to take care of yourself. That’s even more important.  Rather than sitting around mingling and talking during your free time before school hours, after school hours, planning time, and lunch time I suggest that you get ahead of the tasks you know are required of you.  If you have to shut your lights off and hide in a corner to complete paperwork so no one can come to your room to bother you then so be it.  I’m not saying you should be a loner, but you need to take care of business before you play.  That is where so many teachers go wrong and end up paying for it later. Maximizing your time helps to keep you stress free!

Here are just 5 tips to help you get through the school year.  I hope they work for you! Just always remember to be consistent while implementing them.  Let me know how it goes.