All Alone

I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone. -Robin Williams
 

This quote was speaking to me no more than 5 years ago.  I remember wanting to feel as though I had people in my corner ready and willing to support each of my heartfelt endeavors.  After broken promises, neglectful attitudes, missed appointments, and confusion, I reflected on what it really meant to be ALONE.  Being alone is more than just being by yourself.  It is about not feeling up to the job of entertaining and supporting yourself.  I had to realize that just because I had a dream, did not mean everyone else I simply spoke to on a daily basis would feel the desire in my dreams.  I have dealt with opinions, negative comments, and people who tried to change my dreams to match their interpretation of what my dreams and desires should be.  After ending up alone once the opinions were finished being stated, I had the job of reflecting on myself.  It is a realization that I do not need a million supporters to feel like a million bucks :-)  I had to find that happy spot in myself where I could be all by myself and still feel as though I had an entourage.  I now have that and it is important for everyone to have that feeling.  That lonely feeling is the reason why people end up being depressed, sick, and feel as though they need someone in order to feel loved, happy, and just to live.  That is not a good feeling! But, it can absolutely be changed with a change of your mind, thoughts, feelings, and heart.  Besides, you will always feel alone whether or not you have people with you if you never get to the point of fully accepting yourself and your own presence while alone. 

Pick up your phone and scroll through your contact list.  Now, look through your call log.  Are they consistent with one another? Do these contacts call only when they are ready to hang out or need something or someone? Do you have as many people who care about you, who will call you just to check up on you, call just to talk, or even just to say "Hi"? We tend to think that if we have a lot of people in our contact list, that we have "someone we can call on".  That may not be the case.  We unknowingly surround ourselves with many people to fill that empty hole we have.  But, with all the filling, the empty feeling never seems to fully go away.  It is time to work towards building relationships that go beyond the norm.  Grow more meaningful and deep relationships.  We sometimes sell ourselves short because we have spent so much time with a person, but is that enough to make us want to stick around to be taken advantage of? Know that you and your feelings matter as well. You may be so careful to not step on someone else's toes, but they step on yours all the time and show no regard or remorse for your feelings.  Well that is not fair to you. It is time to invest in your emotions and notice your worth.