Christmas Our Way

Disclaimer: Please understand that this post is not a way to downplay what others do to celebrate the holidays, but it is instead a way to help others understand that celebrating can be done in numerous ways. People who truly know me, know that I am a very unconventional and nontraditional person.

So very often I get the question, "What are you getting your daughter for Christmas?" People look at me like I am crazy when I tell them she is going out to give back to the community or she is giving others a gift rather than receiving a lot of presents. They try to make me take that guilt trip, but I do not allow other people's opinions to dictate how my household is run. Christmas is a very commercialized day in the year that I see families spending a ton of money just to see their children smile. Well, I'm glad to say that I do not have to go to that length to see my daughter smile. She enjoys the simple things and for that I appreciate the time we are able to spend unconventionally during the holidays. My husband does not celebrate any holidays or events that are not explicitly mentioned in the bible or have a history of misfortune in the bible as directed by his religion. I have no ties to a religion that explicitly state that I cannot celebrate holidays. In fact, I grew up going through the motions and celebrating by tradition but I have never been one to take much excitement out of celebrating much of anything so it works for me and my family. My daughter just follows suit rather than wanting to do things like her friends and cousins. Yes, I get asked why I don't shower my daughter with gifts and that she will be upset with me when she grows up. I am told that I am ruining her fun as a child and taking her innocence away because I don't follow all the Santa superstitions. I just don't think it's fair for my child to believe a jolly fat stranger brought gifts into our house in the middle of the night while I go to work each day just to provide for her. Why should Santa get all the credit? Either way, I refuse to blatantly lie to my child about it. She knows the deal about strangers and that I wouldn't allow a stranger in our home anyway. Besides, I am not spending hundreds of dollars for one morning on things that I think she would want for my own personal thrill and risk her not even wanting the toys. She hardly plays with toys so it just doesn't make sense for our family. She is very blessed and does not want for much of anything, which is all I want for her to understand.

Visiting the nursing home

Look at that smile :-)

Family time at the movies!

Now, on to what we did do for the holidays. For starters, we sat up all night for a couple of nights watching family movies (she has watched Annie like 3 times now and I never realized it was so long before). She gets soooo excited being able to play games with us and she starts talking trash about how she's going to win (respectful trash talk of course). This morning, we went to see Big Hero 6 since she has been talking about it for a while now. All in all, we are spending FAMILY TIME together. Oh, and let me not forget that I took her to the nursing home to give gifts, sing, and pass out cards to the old folks. She absolutely loved spending time with the older generation talking and acted as though she wanted to stay longer when I told her it was time to go. I could ask for nothing better but to see a genuine smile form across my daughter's face for invaluable moments versus gifts of toys and nonsense that will leave a mess throughout the house. My only hope is that she learns the true meaning of happiness and not the happiness gained through monetary gain or material things. 

  

5 Cardinal Rules for Life

"Vote or Shut Up" as they say

So annoyed (can you tell) but I voted. I am usually not one to get heavily involved in politics but after tonight I see why it was such a big deal to leaders who fought for this right. Crooked leaders are still trying to discourage us from letting our voices be heard. My first issue was that I just didn't have the energy to go back out to vote, but that was a personal problem that I had to suck up and it was simply an excuse. Then, I went to the precinct that I last voted which is only a minute away from my house. When I got there they told me I needed to go to the fire station. I didn't understand why I could not just use one of the 10 unoccupied machines to cast my ballot. Any who, I went to the fire station that is only two minutes away and that was the wrong place! The correct fire station was a 7 minute drive...WHY? Ok, so I sucked it up and drove over. Besides it is my fault I failed to read my mail relevant to voting. I got there and saw the longest line I have ever had to deal with when voting. I got out and stood in the line when some old guy decided he wanted to light up a cigarette. This just wasn't going to work for me seeing as I already had a headache and the smoke made my head bang even more. I wandered away from the smoke and finally found my way inside where there were only two ladies checking voters in. Lo and behold, there was only 1 machine!!!! You've got to be kidding me! This whole evening was just unreal to me because I have never had this many issues when voting. But now I see why getting involved is so important. Otherwise, I will be easy to take advantage of. Tired, annoyed, headache, and 2 hours later I have cast my ballot. 

When It Raynes...Introducing J.Asmara

I have had the desire to write a book for as long as I can remember. I have not gotten myself to the point of where I am disciplined enough to sit and write for an extended period of time until I can accomplish that task. However, the thought still remains fresh in my mind and I constantly think of new topics and story lines very often. I actually have an idea running through my mind now. But, we all know that an idea has no value if it is never acted upon.  That is why I am very proud of knowing someone who had the same trouble as I did with all the thoughts and being able to witness the entire process of becoming a published author.  I would like to introduce her to you all so that maybe her work can inspire you all to do the same and follow any unfinished dreams that you may have.

What does your writing process look like? 

"I like to write in a relaxed environment. I usually burn an incense or candle to set the mood in my space which is usually in my comfy over-sized chair with my feet up on the matching ottoman. I write with music; I live by Pandora. Once I have the mood set I make a cup (or two or three) of tea and begin writing."

Do you have any strange writing habits? 

"I am old school. Unlike so many other writers I’ve met, I like to write on a note pad versus typing on the computer. I know I could probably cut a lot of time by using the computer, but it’s something about having my pages with lined out sentences on lines, arrows all over the paper and words going along the side of the page by the time I’m done. As chaotic as the pages look by the end, it helps me organize my thoughts better."

What/Who has inspired you to write? 

"Overall my children are my inspiration. I have a strong desire to do better for them. Though being a single mother is hard, I never want to be a statistic. I want to show my children that they too can step out of the box society sometimes places us in. As far as writing itself, my best friend Angie inspired me. I’d been writing pretty much my whole life but never really gave it a second thought. Seven years again she told me that I should write a book. I laughed at her and slid it out of my mind. It wasn’t until I wrote a short story in February of this year that I realized that maybe she was onto something. Needless to say she was ecstatic when I told her my decision. People see things in us way before we do sometimes."

How did you come up with the story line for your book? 

"I know it may sound very simple, but in my mind I’ve been blessed to have a very vivid imagination and am also a great problem solver. When I watch movies or television shows, I always try to figure out the twist and I’m usually right about 90% of the time. So I pulled out my notebook and started jotting down twists, turns, and events that I thought would be attention grabbers."

If you could cast your characters in the Hollywood adaptation of your book, who would play your characters? 

"My Hollywood cast would include Keisha Knight Pulliam as Rayne; David would be played by Laz Alonso; James would be Robbie Jones Randy;  Michael Ealy Sky would best be played by Sanaa Lathan."

What do you consider to be your best accomplishment? 

"My greatest accomplishment is that I finished! I’m a master procrastinator. I’ve started so many projects that still remain incomplete. When It Raynes is a tangible item that I can be proud of. It’s still unreal to me sometimes that I wrote it!"

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? 

"Within ten years I see myself having at least one best-selling novel. That is the goal I’ve set for myself and I strive for it daily. I set out to be better than I was the day before. I want every book to be better than the one before. I also see myself being part of a great publishing company."

What is the hardest part about writing a book? 

"I believe the hardest thing is getting out of your own way. You have to get past the obstacles that you place in front of yourself, because most of them are in our head. It’s so easy to make excuses. Mine were: I don’t have enough time in the day, I have a full time job and I’m enlisted in the Army as a reservist, I have three children, I’m tired, I can’t do this, and who’s going to buy my book. It took a lot of discipline but once I started, the words just flowed and my dream was a reality in a four-month period."

What writing advice do you have for other aspiring authors? 

"My advice for aspiring authors is just do it and enjoy the process. It’s not always going to be a walk in the park but stay consistent. Also, always keep a positive prospective. Even if you do not sell one book, know that you have accomplished something that not everyone has the drive, talent, or dedication to do."

What is your least favorite part of the publishing / writing process? 

"My least favorite part of the process is the marketing. It is difficult being an Indie (independent) Writer. Without a publishing company backing me, I’ve had to do all of my marketing. It’s going well, but it has been hard, but I always say “Hard doesn’t equal impossible”."

Is there a certain type of scene that's harder for you to write than others? Love? Action? Racy? Why is it harder? 

"I don’t think I’ve encountered a “hard” scene to write. I’m all for love, action, and racy; all three are in my book actually. What I do find difficult at times is portraying the emotion into the scenes. I want my writing to feel like they are the character.  I want my book to seduce their senses; to see what the character(s) see, feel what the character(s) feel, and so on. Nothing does my heart better than my readers telling me they felt like Rayne and expressing the emotion that scenes evoked in them."

Do you have a team of supporters? What advice would you give an aspiring author without a support system? 

"A support team is very important, not only in marketing but also for your mental well being. I’ve had several moments when I doubted my abilities and my decision to write. I was blessed to have a few faithful supporters along the way to give me that pick me up. Once you publish, it’s important to have a support team to help you with circulation. You have to reach out of your comfort zone to be successful at selling books. Unfortunately, family and friends will let you down. Don’t get me wrong though; they are happy for you, your priority is your priority and your priority may not always be their priority. The reality is that other people’s lives are going on around your book."

Be on the lookout for the sequel! In the meantime, visit https://squareup.com/market/the-asmara/when-it-raynes to order your copy today! Oh yeah, it comes autographed which is always a plus ;-)

Sickle Cell Awareness

I have had the pleasure of meeting one of the most positive people that I can imagine. Mr. Jerrie'me Wright has been nothing short of motivational and supportive of the many ideas I have shared with him. To let him know just how valuable and influential to others, I am dedicating this month's post to him in honor of Sickle Cell Awareness month. In the midst of having Sickle Cell, Jerrie'me continues to show his strength and does not waver from his mission one bit. So before the month ends, I just had to share with you his responses to the questions I asked to become more aware of Sickle Cell.

How long have you been aware of your Sickle Cell Anemia disease?
"Sickle cell is an inherited blood disorder; therefore, individuals who carry the SS gene are born with it.  However, I have been aware of this disease as far back as the early 90's.  So, I would say about 4 or 5 years of age, when I could actually recall having sickle cell crises."

How did you come to understand it?
"I came to understand this disease while coming to age.  My older sister, Monica, lived with sickle cell disease.  So, I came to understand it not only from my point of view, but Monica's point of view as well. To come to understand sickle cell from her point of view, as well as my point of view, was a humbling experience. Nonetheless, today, I am still coming to understand sickle cell disease."

What is the difference between sickle cell trait and the sickle cell disease?
"Great question. Someone without sickle cell disease have normal hemoglobin (AA).  That is to say their red blood cells are normal in shape and function.  On the contrary, someone who has sickle cell trait (like my parents) are carriers of a single sickle cell gene (AS).  Therefore, they were able to pass it on, but were not affected as far as acute pain or complications. It is important for me to say, “Not every individual with sickle cell trait are exempt from the complications of the disease, however, the majority are.”  Most people who live with sickle cell trait feel well and usually live an active and healthy life.  Now, as it relates to those with sickle cell disease (like Monica and I), at birth two sickle cell genes (SS) are inherited, one from each parent.  Like our parents, we too are carriers, but we are also affected by every complication of the disease."

If you can compare sickle cell to anything, how would you describe what it's like to have the sickle cell disease?
"Hmm.  I'm not sure if I can compare sickle cell disease to anything, at least not right now.  However, I would describe having this disease to be very challenging in a number of ways.  Growing up as a kid, there were many things I could not do, because the chance of me having a sickle cell crisis.  While my brother went outside to play, I stayed behind looking out the window because of the possibility of overexerting myself and getting sick.  Although I came to terms with being limited in what I did, and now do, the challenge of this disease has not prevented me from achieving my goals."

Is there a support group for individuals with sickle cell? How do you gain the support you need?
"Yes there are support groups and foundations for individuals with sickle cell.  In fact, the James R. Clark Sickle Cell Foundation in Columbia, South Carolina support those living with sickle cell.  As for me, I gain the support I need from my family, loved ones, and friends.  My number one support group/system is my mother.  She has been all the support I have needed throughout my life. "

How can people help spread awareness?
"In order to spread awareness, individuals need to first learn about the disease.  People can help spread awareness by being proactive.  Today we are living in a social media society, so we can be proactive through the world of social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.).  In addition, people can spread awareness by word of mouth.  I like the slogan, "Each one, teach one." Many people know of someone who has been affected or knows someone who is affected by sickle cell.  If we take that individual into consideration in bringing awareness, more individuals will be aware of sickle cell disease. This blog/article is also another tool in bringing awareness to others of sickle cell disease. So, thank you for your willingness to bring awareness of this disease to others!"

To learn more about Sickle Cell, visit the Sickle Cell Disease Association of America website: http://www.sicklecelldisease.org/

Dream(Her)

Every girl is a dreamer at some point in her life. From the time a girl can begin to imagine a life she can call her own, she is able to understand that her thoughts are merely her dreams until she gets old enough to live them out. On the sad side, many girls are told that dreaming is crazy because life will never be the way they have dreamed it to be and it is unrealistic to even think of the possibilities. That leaves many girls fighting for the rest of their lives trying to prove those naysayers wrong or fighting to live their life by someone else's expectations. I am one of those girls. I am told that I am a dreamer all the time and that I live in my own fantasy world. But it is okay that I am an all-time dreamer and I will not stop reaching for my dreams until I have reached them, because I am happy doing just that. That's why I have come up with the idea of Dream(Her) to represent the girl who dreams. It is a reminder that it is okay to step out of the norm and do something that makes her happy. It is time for girls to live out their dreams and quit doing what society expects of the average female. I present to you Dream(Her)!!! This shirt should serve as a reminder to live the life you have always dreamed of living.  Order your shirt today by visiting www.mkt.com/inspireabc.

Note: Dream(Her) is pronounced Dreamer. 

While you are here, go ahead and comment with your dream!

Designing credits go to 15-year old Tajana Howard in Massachusetts! We have to raise the younger generation up and encourage them to go in a worthwhile direction.

Minimum Wage Challenge

I think more people in charge of making these laws should have to bear the responsibility of understanding what we go through from day to day not being afforded luxuries that they have. They have stresses also, but is incomparable to the stresses of wondering where your next meal will come from or if you will have a place to stay the next day. Something needs to be done in America. It's supposed to be the land of opportunity but so many people are dying from no opportunity. That's backwards. Read the article.

This Congressman lived on the minimum wage:

http://www.cnn.com//2014/07/31/politics/minimum-wage-challenge/index.html